FauxFame's FauxThoughts

So it’s dream time.  A little odd and out there, but hey, that’s why it’s a dream.

So I’m driving to visit my gramma in the nursing home, when I pulled up to a stoplight and someone got into my car and held something cold to my head, which I assumed was a gun.  They told me not to look, don’t turn, just drive.  I wasn’t able to dicipher out who it was because the voice was muffled.  Being the smartass I can be, I tell the carjacker as it were that I only had a half tank of gas, so if they needed to go somewhere far, then I would need gas money.  They told me to shut up and just drive.  So, they’re telling me to turn and where to go, and I wind up on lower Wacker Drive in Chicago.  They tell me to pull over, throws a thousand bucks at me and told me to go get gas, and be back at this location at midnight on the dot.  Next thing I hear is the car door slam and I drive to get gas…in Crete.  LOL.

I go back to the city to pick up my carjacker (why I didn’t call the cops and why I went back, I have no idea), and they get in, as I keep my eyes forward, and they tell me to drive back to the apartment.  So I do so, and they tell me to go into the apartment and lay down in my bed, face down, and that they were gonna stay with me tonight.  So I do so, and Dave (roomie) asks me what’s going on, and I explain the situation.  He shrugs and lets me do my thing and next thing I know I hear him say “Uhm…you were carjacked by Selena Gomez…with a Super Soaker?”…and Selena goes “Why did you tell her?!?! I could have totally gotten in her to sleep with me!” and that’s when my alarm clock woke me up.  LMAO.  Weirdness.

And for your enjoyment…a Super Soaked Selena.  LOL

Ok, well I don’t have a fancy list like my Jenny has made, but I do like to doodle.  And a picture is worth a thousand words.  :p

Ok so yeah, it’s Mandy wacky dream time.  Which I only had a Diet Coke and a couple spoonfulls of honey peanut butter. 

It was like an episode of HM…where I’m doing security dispatch for the Hannah Montana crew…It’s a permanent job only because of my experience with multiple screens and emergency situations.  Basically, I sat in this little trailer outside, surrounded by 8 computer screens similar to what I work with, and of course I had the ability to run people’s names, send security to where they need to be, etc.  Basically all I know is I had control over everyone other than the stage crew.  I have also one screen that monitors the concert live, to make sure no one is getting too close to the stage, otherwise then I’d have to send security to take care of the situation.

Anywho, everything goes off without a hitch.  Concert ran smoothly, and I start packing up.  Usually I’m invisible to anyone that isn’t behind the scenes and when I heard the trailer door slam, I jumped, turning to see Hannah-not Miley-behind me.  There was this crazy, wild eyed look on her face as she literally lunges at me…I thought she was trying to kill me, but ohhhh no. 

She had tackled me to the floor, and if you’ve ever been inside a dispatch trailer, they’re really really tiny, with not much room to move…at least the ones I’ve seen are tiny…and so I was pretty much pinned to the ground, her left hand covered my mouth as her right hand proceeded to rip my clothes off of my body.  Yeah, I struggled…because I was in such a daze, not knowing what the hell was going on.  Next thing I know, I feel something simultaneously enter my ass and womanhood…roughly thrusting into me.  I have no idea what toy she had but despite the fear and the pain, I was damn near orgasmic once my eyes focused to see the blonde topped songstress above me, muttering something about needing it, and taking whatever she could give me.

Now, there’s more down and dirty details, however I can only remember flashes…especially something with a knife and her carving a ‘HM’ on my inner thigh so I don’t forget who I belong to.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
2:15 pm….or 1415 hours.

2. How do you like your steak?
Rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Toy Story 3

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Hannah Montana, baby.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
France.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Some Hawaiian Punch and a birth control pill.  LOL

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Anything involving meat.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Swordfish.  YUCK…and brussell sprouts.  That’s it.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Round the Clock

10. Favorite dressing?
Ceasar

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
97 Pontiac Sunfire

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Anything tshirt, capris and sandals

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Germany

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
I pour the cup into a shotglass.  Then I got an overflowing shot!

15. Where would you want to retire?
I have no idea.  LOL.

16. Favorite time of day?
After midnight.

17. Where were you born?
In the hospital.  LOL.  Which is located in Olympia Fields, IL

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
I’m not really a sports watcher

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I don’t know.  Don’t care.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
See Above Answer

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Hey, I’m just doing this to clear my mind.

22. Bird watcher?
Girl watcher.  Hehe

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night.

24. Do you have any pets?
Yes.  DUH!  LOL

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
Uhm…I have a popcorn hull stuck behind my tooth and I can’t get the fcuker out

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A wolf, honestly.  Jobwise I wanted to be everything.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Probably just hanging out in general with my buddies.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
I’m an animal lover in general

29. Are you married?
I’m married to God.  LMAOOOOO

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes.

31. Been in a car accident?
Yep.  Lost my rear bumper on my 79 Pontiac Bonneville…and totalled the other girls car

32. Any pet peeves?
Stupidity.  Need I say more?

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Meat.  In general.

34. Favorite Flower?
Lilys.

35. Favorite ice cream?
French Vanilla or Blue Moon

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Burger King.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
None

38. From whom did you get your last email?
From FF.com

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Either Walmart or Best Buy

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Nope.  Because of my gramma

41. Like your job?
Love it.  Despite the stupidity

42. Broccoli?
Deep fried!

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Going to England, France, and Spain.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
My mommy.

45. What are you listening to right now?
My radio band

46. What is your favorite color?
Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have?
7

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Nada

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
5:06 pm…or 1706 hrs

50. Coffee Drinker?

You know it!

10 things about yourself

1. I wrinkle my nose when someone touches it.
2. My middle name is Kathleen
3. I am a video game nerd
4. I watch Disney Channel more than any other channel.
5. I have a geek-crush on Dwight Scrute
6. I have low tolerance for stupidity
7. Even though she’s close to my age, Romi Dames (@TheRomiDames) is one of my all time personal heroes
8. I giggle like a little girl when I see the number 5318008 on a calculator
9. Even though I have tattoos, I still doodle and draw on my hands, arms, and legs
10. I want to get my nipple pierced again.

9 things you’ve thought about recently

1. The 10 things about me.  LOL
2. Why everyone is calling for the FD and no one is going to the hospital
3. Who is calling on the non-emergency line now?
4. Will I get vacation time to go to Orlando?
5. What is going to happen with my Gramma?
6. Is it time to smoke yet?
7. How much I need to pee
8. My dream from last night
9. Jenny.

8 ways to win your heart

1. Miley Cyrus.  Need I say more?
2. A random letter in the mail
3. Just saying I love you and meaning it.
4. Understanding my obsession
5. Making me feel beautiful when I know I’m not
6. Letting me be me and not judging
7. Listening to my problems.
8. a little prize from the gumball machine at the store. 

7 favorite pieces of clothing

1. My 9-1-1 Tee Shirts
2. My Grumpy Shorts
3. All of the shirts that Jenny has given to me
4. My ‘race for the cure’ tshirt from the Office 
5. My Fighting Squirrels hat
6. My pair of jean capris
7. The Miley capris

6 things you have to do before you go to bed

1. put up ashtray
2. choose a DVD that I’m gonna fall asleep to
3. put phone on charger
4. make sure alarm is set with iPod charging on dock
5. adjusts pillows to proper Mandy specifications
6. drag my purple Mileyblankie into the room with me

5 things you wish you could say to five different people

1. Can you really BE that stupid?
2. Stop singing. Seriously.  You’re not that good, and you lie about winning any form of karaoke contest.  Quit your friggin lying too.
3. I’m gay
4. You know, you already know I have a mad crush on you…so why don’t we just have a one time thing…you and me…and yanno…film a bit for Jenny.  Please and thank you.
5. Leave.  Me.  The F*@k. Alone

4 things you’re doing right now

1. playing on tumblr
2. working the fire desk for another hour
3. dreading working with my Supervisor
4. checking my phone for texts

3 things you’re scared of

1. any bug that is bigger than my pinky
2. cicadas
3. falling to my death

2 things you want to do before you die

1. Meet Miley and actually have a lengthy talk with her
2. Write a book

 1 confession

I think that girls smoking and people that have tattoos are positively orgasmic. 

So this little dream I had last night was quite interesting.  I blame it on Hannah Montana the Movie, Diet Coke, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.

Starts off that I was dragged to a local bar to see some country music revue, where it was supposed to have a bunch of crappy cover bands.  First off, I’m not a huge country music fan, and secondly, I really don’t like cover bands because they always seem uncreative.  Anywho, so we get there and apparently it was all some ploy because Billy Ray was there doing some impromptu bar show.  So I enjoyed a few drinks and music and just sat back and b.s’ed with my friends.

When his set was over, he comes swaggering over to our table and buys us a round, yanno…cos he just so happened to catch me eyeing him…(bad eyes…bad!).  So he sits next to me and we get to talking.  My friends wind up ditching me and I stay just talking back and forth with him.  He had gotten a divorce from Tish (which was common knowledge in my brain) and was just glad to talk to someone.  We exchanged phone numbers, and went on our seperate ways.

I went to visit my parents cos my uncle from Tasmania was coming into town and I had to help clean up the backyard for a bbq, and my dad was the only one home.  As I’m raking up loose grass pieces, I get a call from Billy Ray and he was still in town and wanted me to meet him at the Radisson in Merriville for dinner after his show.  I said sure and told my dad that I had a date with Billy Ray.  He didn’t believe me, of course, but I told him not to tell mom cos I really didn’t want her to give me shit cos of his age.  So I go home and get ready for this date…wearing a pair of boot cut jeans…(squeezing into them, mind you), a tight tee shirt, and my pair of boots from when I was a cop.  (They are sooo comfy…and in really good shape). 

So I get there after making myself all purdy looking and we have dinner there and a few drinks, once again just bullshitting, enjoying our meal…we both had the steak…hehe…and next thing I know, he proposes to me.  I was flattered, to say the least, but I told him that I had to think about it, because #1, he didn’t know me, and I could be some gold-digging biotch, #2, I hardly knew him, other than the information I knew on the internet and tv, which is hardly getting to know someone face to face, and #3, his kids didn’t know anything about me, and if that was something he really wanted, I should be at least introduced.  After I made that statement, he slammed his napkin down with a huge smile and said that he knew he picked a good’un, cos he was testing me to see if I was some gold-digging, coat-tail ridin’ easy lovin’ woman.  And I wasn’t.  So he takes me upstairs to his hotel room and goes into the bathroom to either take a shower or shave or do something (I really didn’t ask, but I heard the shower), and 15 year old Miley walks in from the adjoining room, with a large duffel bag, pleading me to marry her daddy, and that if it helps, he will use a wig and dress up as Lilly, if I wear a wig and dress up as Hannah.  I gave her this odd look and laughed, telling her that it was quite all right and that he didn’t need to dress up…I just needed to get to know him better.  (I also thought it was odd that he would want to do me as Hannah, but yanno…I think it was Miley’s idea). She hugged me and took my hand to show me her own personal hotel room, when he comes out wearing a pair of jeans and this wifebeater (mmmm, Cyrustattoooos), and laughed, seeing me being led around by Miley like a new bff.  He told her that he wanted to take me dancing at DC’s (which is this country bar in Indiana) and we would be back later.

So we go out dancing and having a few more drinks here and there, had a pretty good time, and headed back to the hotel.  Miley was asleep on her bed, snuggling my hoodie.  So, while she was sound asleep in the room next door, we totally had the sex.  Awesomepants.  And OMFG…he was quite good. (I won’t get into the down dirty details because…yanno…what do you wanna hear?  Missionary first, doggy next…hanging from the ceiling after that…lol)

So, I spend the night with him and wake up to breakfast in bed, and I had to run to go back to my folks to assist with setting up for my uncle still.  So I do the ‘walk of shame’ back to my parents and help my dad hang a poster along the side of the house of babies’ butts and we were talking a bit, and he told me that I needed to go to the party store to pick up some supplies like plates and cutlery and stuff.  Soooo I do so, and I run into 17 year old Miley.  She wanted to help me do my shopping and while we were in the party store, she pins me against the wall, kisses me deeply, runs her fingers through my hair, and says…and I quote: “Daddy says we can share if I want…and I want….” So I ask her if she means at the same time and she laughs and says no, seperatly, and that she always wanted a hot stepmom.  So she and I do some shopping and just as we got into my car to drive back to my parent’s house, my mom wakes me up with a phone call that she can’t get ahold of my grandma.

CURSES!!! FOILED AGAIN!

Day 26- What you think about your friends

I think my friends are the best I could ever ask for.  They’re so supportive and wonderful, and they always know how to cheer me up.  I love them!

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Because it’s something to keep me occupied and makes me think.

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Well, my hair’s longer and I’m fatter.  That’s about it.  LOL.  Actually I learned a lot about myself this year…thanks to Jenny

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Well, I learned that I must give some decent advice!  LOL!

Day 30- Who are you?

Well, I’m me.  Amanda.  Mandy.  Lucky.  My name matters not.  What matters is I am the dispatcher that saves lives, and the wacky girl you all love.  Which means…I’m me!

…in bizarro world today?  It seems like everyone is in a bad/sad/angry/tired/unhappy mood, while I’m happy.  Ok, ok, semi happy.  I did lose one of my rats today…my Demi-rat…but she was an old rescue…so it’s ok…she lived a happy life with me. 

Anywho…to all of you that are having a bad day…I send BIG HUGE MANDYHUGS to you all.  Because honestly…y’all have been there to cheer me up during my down times…and I need to be there for you.  :)  Even though a hug might not mean much…to me, it does.  So…